Some things you want to know about Sirius Black
by notonlybooks
Summary: There are many things you should know about Sirius Black. These are only some of them


Disclaimer: sadly we own absolutely nothing, you all know that

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1\. Sirius could speak perfect French, waltz without missing a step and knew exactly which fork, knife or spoon to use with each meal. However, in presence of his family he would always mispronounce or make grammatical mistakes, dance as if he had two left feet and use the most inappropriate piece of cutlery, just to piss them off.

2\. He used to love Regulus. He thought his little brother would be different from the rest of the family. When he realised he wasn't, he hated him more than he hated the rest of them.

3\. He would have been proud to know his brother had destroyed one of Voldemort's Horcruxes.

4\. Sirius was the kind of person who would trust you with his life or not at all. He knew no middle points. He saw the world as black or white. He could forgive many things, but never a treason. And of course his friends never gave him a reason to not trust them, not until his very last moments of freedom.

5\. But he did not trust himself. And because of that he never forgave himself.

6\. He didn't trust James at first neither (the Blacks had hated the Potters for centuries). Of course, he eventually told him that and they laughed for a while, which was followed by a very manly hug, although Remus and Peter would disagree about the level of manliness involved.

7\. Many people doubted Sirius in many ways and for many reasons, some of them founded, some unfounded. But nobody ever doubted the friendship he shared with James. They were brothers, and not even those who despised them could ever deny it, since it was as obvious as the fact that the sky is blue and that there is a giant squid in the lake.

8\. Of course, it came as no surprise that his Animagus form was the most loyal animal.

9\. Through his seven years in Hogwarts he was a prankster. When he came back home for Christmas after his first two months at school, his parents were not waiting for him in the platform. He went home alone, only to find both his parents ready to punish him for all the letters they had received from school because of his pranks. He had thought the howlers from his mother had been enough punishment, but of course they weren't. When he came back to Hogwarts with a cut on his cheek and a sad look on his face, James went straight to Dumbledore, to whom he begged to take matters into his own hands. The old wizard told James he could not take Sirius away from home, but that he would not let the kid suffer.

10\. In his second year in Hogwarts, Sirius decided to stay at school for Christmas. Of course, James would not allow it, so he took Sirius with him. James' parents had heard all about his family and the way they treated Sirius, so they made sure Sirius felt loved and enjoyed Christmas. For the first time in years he truly did.

11\. They tried to keep away from pranking, but of course the Marauders could not do such a thing. One morning, after a really nasty prank, James' got a letter from his parents telling him off. Sirius expected a howler and knew to expect a really harsh punishment at home. Instead, he received a letter written by James' mother begging him to behave. Dumbledore hadn't informed the Blacks about the boy's misbehaviour, and he would continue to inform only the Potters. Nevertheless, there was no excuse too small to make Sirius' parents turn on him -even breathing too loud could earn him a severe punishment.

12\. The Marauders were a nightmare to the teaching staff at Hogwarts. They got more detentions than any other student of their year combined. Nevertheless, most teachers had a special affection for them, and they were very proud of the boys (even if they tried not to show it) because some of the charms and spells they used for their pranks were actually pretty advanced, and they performed them faultlessly. McGonagall would not admit it, but they were probably one of her favourite students during her whole career.

13\. James always remembered the day he appeared at his doorstep, with red eyes and red marks all over his body, his clothes ragged, his always clean hair now dirty and messy. Sirius always remembered that day as the day he finally got a family.

14\. He didn't think Snape was going to follow his instructions and find Remus, otherwise he wouldn't have said anything. He thought that the bloody git would be too much of a coward to do it, but he had been wrong and when things came crashing down he had no one to blame but himself. James always said what he thought, so they talked about it and finally James forgave him. Peter, when pressed to choose sides would always pick James', so he forgave him as well. Remus was different, and not only because he was the one he had told Snape about. Remus always kept his thoughts to himself, so it was hard to get things out in the open and actually talk about them. Finally, after a couple of extremely tense weeks, Remus gave in and forgave him, but Sirius was never sure that was completely true.

15\. He could never shake off the feeling that the Death Eaters that killed James' parents could've easily belonged to his own family. And even if they weren't directly involved in the massacre, he knew they would have loved to be the ones who killed the Potters.

16\. He always questioned Dumbledore. What the old wizard asked of them was blind trust, and he was too full of hatred to be able to do it. But the Order trusted him. James and Lily trusted him as well, and he didn't trust anyone but them, not even himself and not even Remus. He knew they were trying their best to help, so he closed his eyes and followed them.

17\. While James may not have really hated Snape until that moment in which he called Lily a mudblood and made her cry, Sirius loathed Severus for having made the wrong choice. Snape could have helped the Order, Sirius was certain that Dumbledore would have given him a chance, but he chose not to. And if anyone knew about making the right choice, it was Sirius Black.

18\. He managed not to cry in front of James and Lily the first time he saw Harry, but as soon as he left the room he couldn't contain himself. The only one who saw this was Remus.

19\. He would have died rather than betray his friends. These were, in fact, some of the first words he told Harry.

20\. He was the one who proposed making Peter the Secret Keeper. He was too obvious a choice, and no matter how much he wanted to, he didn't trust Remus (he was spending too much time as a spy on the other side -what if he had turned?). He regretted this decision the rest of his life.

21\. He could've run away after Peter disappeared (he _should've_), but he didn't. He kept coming back to the ruins that used to be James and Lily's home, until one night there was a group of aurors waiting to capture him. He didn't even put up a fight. He thought he deserved it, in a way.

22\. Years later, he criticised himself for having trusted Peter. But why wouldn't he? He thought Peter loved them like he did. That was Sirius' weakness: he loved too much. He hated too much too.

23\. He loved too much, but he never fell in love. He threw himself into meaningless relationships. At first because he was too young not to. Then, because he was, as he said, "a free man" and would not engage in any kind of responsibilities, which could clearly be translated as his hormones talking. But when James found Lily, Sirius decided he would not allow himself to love someone he could lose. He swore he would find love when the war was over. He swore he would give Harry a cousin.

24\. When he was convicted, people told him that he was the one who had told Voldemort the Potters' whereabouts, that he was the one who had killed all those muggles, that he was the one who had killed Peter. They told him he had fabricated the story about Peter being guilty because he couldn't face the truth. For a while he may had believed them. It made sense: he was a Black, after all.

25\. But James had always reminded him that he was a Black only by name.

26\. He hated Peter for those awful 12 years in Azkaban. The only thing stronger than his anger was his pity for Remus, who had to spend all those years hiding and suffering and all alone.

27\. What kept him alive in prison was Harry. He had failed James and Lily, but he wouldn't fail their son. He missed him: he had last seen him when he was a baby. How much like James would he be? Would he have Lily's eyes?

28\. The saddest and happiest day since his confinement was the day he saw the Weasleys' photograph on the cover of the Daily Prophet Peter was there; he was sure it was him. This meant that he was not crazy and, more importantly, that he was not guilty. What's more, now he knew where to find that treacherous rat.

29\. Sirius was finally able to have some peace when he saw Remus at the Shrieking Shack and hugged him like a brother.

30\. He would have killed Peter that night in the Shrieking Shack. He was ready for it and he knew, with just one look, that Remus was ready too. But James wouldn't have, and neither would his son. Maybe under different circumstances he would have admired Harry's forgiveness as he had admired James', but life had been tougher with him than with father and son, and he knew Peter was trouble. Besides, he knew it was Harry's choice.

31\. After his imprisonment, he was eager for revenge but knew better than that. If those twelve years in Azkaban had taught him something, it was to have patience.

32\. He hated being locked up. His mother used to keep him in his room for days for behaving in an "improper manner"; he couldn't leave his flat when James and Lily were hiding because the Death Eaters probably thought he was the Secret Keeper; he had to live (if you can call it "live") in his tiny cell in Azkaban for more than a decade. Finally, when he was out of prison, Dumbledore put him back into the house where he had grown up, the house which he loathed. He really hated Dumbledore for doing that.

33\. Once, he told Harry that "the ones that love us never really leave us," because that's what the boy needed to hear. He didn't actually believe it: every single person that had loved him or whom he had loved had left him. He couldn't feel more alone

34\. The moment Bellatrix's curse hit him, he didn't think of himself. He wasn't afraid of death, nothing could be worse than Azkaban. What he did think was that he was leaving Remus again, and leaving Harry again, and failing James and Lily again.

35\. What Sirius didn't know was that James couldn't be prouder of him, as he couldn't be prouder of his son.

36\. Sirius never knew that the two years Harry knew him were the best of his childhood.

37\. Sirius really hoped to give Harry a better life than the one he had with the Dursleys. But he never got the chance to and he hated himself for it.


End file.
